the dope cactus

So you can’t figure out where to meet men/women? Me either! But one avenue is to try dating apps. I’ve tried them all except for Black People Meet which may be where my king is hiding but I’ll never find out.

I wanted to give you guys the rundown on my dating app experience. You really should try them out for yourself though. But hopefully these tips & insight will help you decide which is the best dating app for you.

POF
This is the first dating site I ever tried (unless you count Blackplanet). I’m not sure how the site/app currently operates but when I was on it you were able to message whoever. You didn’t have to match with them to send them a message. This can be a good or a bad thing. You’ll get a lot of unsolicited messages but you also have the freedom to hop in someone’s DM’s who maybe doesn’t use it much & just checks their messages. I’d say you should give it a shot. It’s the simplest way to meet people out of all the apps in my opinion. Oh I had one relationship from POF that lasted a little over a year. We were just in different stages in our lives & it didn’t work out. I actually gave up POF for Tinder.

Tinder
If you haven’t heard of Tinder then you’ve probably been living under a rock. Swiping became a popular aspect of dating apps solely because of Tinder. On this platform you do have to match with someone before exchanging messages. But in my time on there I’ve noticed that there are a bunch of fake profiles. I can even recall seeing profiles of someone in let’s say Austin then seeing the same profile with a different name in LA. I’ve also encountered bots. Now I have had a few Tinder situationships & hookups but it’s mostly been bad sex. Or dude’s who are married or maybe locked up & just want a pen pal & not looking to ever meetup. Also everybody is ‘poly’ in Austin. It’s the biggest buzzword in the city behind ‘diversity’.

Bumble
IF I ever get back on a dating app it would be Bumble. I’ve met some interesting characters via Bumble. And what sets them apart is that women have to message men first. I’m not sure how this works if you’re a woman seeking a woman though. I’ve had a few really good dates from the app. When I first moved back to Austin I was dating an older white gentleman but in the end he said we weren’t compatible. I think he went through my phone when I was in the bathroom & saw me texting someone else but he denied it. I had previously given him my passcode in the car to get to my Spotify & didn’t think to change it. Now I don’t even lock my damn phone. I highly recommend giving Bumble a try. The BFF & Bizz features are useful too if you can ever get anyone to meet up instead of just texting about it.

OkCupid
OkCupid is kind of like POF Jr. I don’t recall having to swipe with anyone to message them. I think it’s a free-for-all. I didn’t get to use this app in any major cities. I tried it when I was back home in Abilene. Maybe I should give it another try because pickens were definitely slim as hell out there. I only met up with one guy from the app who was passing through town on business & he was super annoying. I invited my cousin out to meet us & we just drank on him the rest of the night.

Hinge
Hinge is a spillover of Tinder. Everyone I swiped on on Tinder was on Hinge. I was supposed to meet up with one guy for coffee in Houston & he claimed he forgot & tried to get me to hang out later that day & the next day. I just blocked him. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Hinge was what I used when I was bored with Tinder but it was all the same people so I quickly let it go.

Did any of you guys try Soul Swipe? I never did & when I Google it only an app called Soul pops up. Not sure if it’s the same or not. And I’ve only used Match when they offered a free trial which isn’t enough time to actually meet anyone. I would give that a try but I just don’t want to pay for it.

Are there any other dating sites/apps I should try? Let me know guys! And best of luck to you & your dating endeavors. I’m taking a break for now to just focus on work & travel.