the dope cactus

Every year around this time I get extra irritable and cranky. All the ads and displays for this one day of the year that instantly makes me want to just curl up in a ball & sleep for 48 hours. I used to try to keep a smile on my face but I’ve learned that I don’t have to suppress my feelings. And neither do you.

Let it out. This holiday sucks. Fuck these sales. Fuck these emails. Fuck it all. Do whatever you need to do to embrace your feelings. Feel what you feel. It’s literally okay. It’s hard to put your best foot forward 365 days a year when dealing with grief. Sometimes it hits you out of nowhere but other times it’s predictable.

For me I try to keep to myself on Mother’s Day. I usually stay off of all social media too. This year I plan to do the same but in the days before I am surrounding myself with people and things to make me happy and feel like home. I even went home to Abilene last week. It was a much needed trip.

And if I feel like waking up and crying I’m doing that too. And afterwards I’m grabbing a lavender lemonade gin canned cocktail that I got from Trader Joe’s and smoking and chilling until tonight’s festivities. I’ve planned a birthday dinner for my homie and we are going to celebrate life to the fullest.

However you decide to tackle this tough holiday just know that you are entitled to feel what you feel. Grief is a bitch and there’s no right or wrong way to deal with it. I’m not even going to lie, drugs help if you’re into them. Marijuana and mushrooms have done wonders for me. Microdosing is the wave.

But more on that later. I love you guys. We got this though. Let’s continue to make our mamas proud.

XOXO,

Brit